Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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