speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
