I am puke
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
