some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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