my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
