you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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