You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I want is dick and wine.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
