she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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