Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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