So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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