I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
