Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
