I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
