How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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