I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
