I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
