got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
