I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
