oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we're so committed to being not committed
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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