around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
