dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
