Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
