I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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