ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
