Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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