i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All the doctor said was why
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
