Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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