Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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