I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
