Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
