i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
