Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
