She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
