I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
