dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
