Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
