Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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