you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Fuck appropriateness.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
