i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
