if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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