eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
