ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
