I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
please don't ironically join a cult
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