fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
