one two three fourrrrnication!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
