It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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