please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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