I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So vagazzling was a success
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
