i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
