i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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