Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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