Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
